I’m standing in front of the mirror, hands on hips, shoulders back, head held high, repeating I AM MORE THAN ENOUGH as I look myself straight in the eye.
…before letting out something between an embarrassed giggle and snort of derision and flopping down on the bed, feeling deflated.
This is ridiculous. How is this going to help me?
But I have promised my new mentoring group that I’ll give it a go for a month in a bid to overcome my lack of confidence in myself and my business.
So, the next morning I’m back in front of the mirror, in what I think of as my Wonder Woman pose, trying to feel big and confident as I repeat my affirmation – I AM MORE THAN ENOUGH!
This time I don’t get the chance to laugh at myself. My nine-year-old daughter wanders into the room and immediately cracks up.
When I explain, she looks embarrassed for me, but I’m determined. I have just a couple of short weeks until I have to report back to my OMG (Offline Mentoring Group) and be held accountable.
So, I’m back the next morning…and the next…and the next…and the one after that.
And then something strange happens.
I get a fancy new haircut that makes me feel good, I buy some new red high heels and somewhere along the line I begin to believe what I’m telling myself.
That suggestion (thanks Emma!) which seemed so crazy at the time resulted in a pivotal moment in my development and self-discovery.
Something clicked in my head. I actually am more than enough. I have lots to offer, both personally and professionally.
The change was obvious. At the next meeting of OMG, the gang could see just by looking at me that there had been a transformation – without the need for me to nip into the nearest phone box and pull on Wonder Woman’s big girl superhero blue starry pants!
They were thrilled for me and continue to be a great support on my journey. I am so grateful for the chain of events that led to me being part of the group.
It is those seemingly unimportant events and inconsequential decisions that have actually resulted in a total life transformation in the past 12 months.
It’s easy to pass them off as coincidence or luck, but I have come to believe it’s about attracting exactly what I needed at the right time. The Law of Attraction in full swing!
New habits, new interests, new friends…
I have made new contacts, joined new groups, taken up new hobbies, given up some bad habits and read and researched new topics that have interested me.
One such discovery was Brene Brown and her teachings about vulnerability.
I am learning how to accept my own vulnerability and still show up and be visible, as 100% myself.
In the past I have been way too concerned about what others will think. I still am to a certain degree and I am sure this post will make some people who know me uncomfortable.
They will laugh and perhaps snigger at the “new” me. The cynical journalist who is embracing lots of things they will consider soft and even weird.
Or maybe that’s still my own fear trying to keep me in my comfort zone.
Either way, it’s too bad!
That old hack, who loves the cynical and sometimes wholly inappropiate newsroom banter and gets excited by a good local story – however tragic it is – is still there.
But she’s growing and embracing new things, making new friends and manifesting the future she dreams of. A future bigger, better and brighter than she ever dared dream of before.
Join me on my journey…
I intend to chronicle my journey on this blog. I will show up, be visible and more importantly show my vulnerability.
I have some big dreams and some big plans, which I hope will both help and inspire other people just like me.
I will be exploring more of the changes and growth I have experienced in the past 12 months and how I am moving forward.
I look forward to you joining me on my journey so please make sure you sign up to my newsletter to stay up to date with new posts.